I renewed correspondence with my old English tutor the other day and his reply amused me. Why isn't there a web comic featuring game NPCs duelling each other with the quality of their elegaic couplets rather than shruiken-expelling, eau-de-cologne-jet blasting BFGs?

There has been considerable controversy over the Dickinson selection of poems [for the Australian version of the A-levels] because the Board [of Studies, controlling the evil exams] has opted for the out-of-date Reeves version. Sydney Grammar [an expensive school] challenged the Board to a duel at 10 iambic pentameters. The Board's seconds gave in without even an enjambment, and Franklin's 1996 scholarship and Johnson's 1956 patchwork were finally ruled in as acceptable alternatives. But, connecting the poems to 'belonging' has reduced almost everyone to 'Zero at the Bone' anyway.

For about a month now I have been attempting to write an honest and amusing review of the new QT film, located as it is in a parallel universe in which all Americans are thoughtless villains and all Wehrmacht officers are colossal morons. I should be rejoicing this, as all too often it's the other way around, but try as I might, I can't recommend this film. It sets up expectations so high that a V2 couldn't get over them, only to dash the audience's hopes the very next scene, which left my pleasure in the film bouncing madly up and down like the tennis scores in a Rainer Schüttler match. And just like a Schüttler match, it ended badly.

PANIC Condensed Matter Physics assignment due PANIC Astrophysics due EXTRA PANIC Partial Differential Equations eeeek! (although that was slightly cool that the lecturer has swastikas all over his notes, perhaps that means I can write "Sieg Heil!" and get marks, if not PANIC PANIC. Oh yes, and cosmological research project due PANIC 15000 words left PANIC draft due Monday 5pm PANIC, one week to presentation PANIC PANIC PANIC.
How am I going to write fanfic when all I'm doing is getting STRESSED?

Hang on, I found some pictures of Til Schweiger in PINSTRIPE UNDERWEAR. Hahahaha!